Mirror Mirror on the Wall
Every single person that you interact with, are drawn to or feel any sort of reaction to, is a mirror to who you are. When someone says, "They are mirroring you", it means that person is showing you something about yourself. A mirror shows your reflection, but a different perspective of it....a version that you don't see from usual perception or view. If we can learn to see everyone we connect with as a reflection of ourselves, and learn to understand what is being reflected to us free of judgement, we could save ourselves a great deal of frustrations and ultimately create stronger bonds in our relationships.
It's probably easy to embrace that the person you are in love with or your best friend is a mirror to you. When we connect to people who share the same interests, feelings, dreams, and beliefs that we do, we feel that instant sense of belonging...it gives us that good feeling that we are seen and understood when we connect with someone who we see as similar to us. But what happens the second that same person shows us something that we don't necessarily like or is different than what we perceive? We usually instantly see a separation.....we tend to jump to one of two thoughts...we either feel that person is wrong or that we are....we instantly want something to change. And the second we step into that energy, we create a divide and our connections become power struggles or competitions.
We connect with people who are on the same energetic frequency as us. If you are a deep feeling person, you will connect to people who feel things deeply. If you are a passionate/high intensity person....you will connect people who are intense. This seems simple....but it goes deeper and is not always easy to see that we are holding the same energy as another, especially during times of conflict. This is where understanding what a mirror really is comes into play....
Let's examine connections between Narcissists and extremely empathic people. You would think that there is no way they could share the same energy....but if an empath is connecting to a narcissist then at the core they are both holding the same energetic frequency....they are two extremes of the same exact energy. Even though it appears that narcissistic people are all about themselves....they lack a true sense of self, because their self worth is based on the energy and validation they are receiving from those around them. Extremely empathic people tend to sit in the same exact energy.....because empathic people usually want to make others around them feel comfortable....their sense of self is usually determined by whether or not the people around them are happy and content....Just like the narcissist....they are lacking true sense of self.
You hear a lot about people that are in relationships with someone who is "hot and cold" or that there is a constant push and pull, one person is completely open and emotional and the other is completely closed off....or someone is completely committed to someone who is non committal....And yes....both of these people are holding the same exact energy at the core. Both people are likely holding onto abandonment, trust or commitment issues...they are just showing different extremes of it. But instead of dealing with the core issues individually....we tend to look to the other to fix their issues, It's amusing if you really think of it....One person will connect to someone they perceive has commitment issues and so that person in return feels that if they completely commit to the person who fears commitment that suddenly that person wont be scared....but they are literally shoving in that person's face the very thing they fear the most and while I know that facing your fears is a way to overcome them....shoving someone's fears in their face...forcing someone to face their fears, is not really the best way to treat someone you care for. And the person fighting for commitment with a noncommittal person is holding onto the same fear and insecurity as the person who is closed off.....because if someone truly wanted a solid commitment, they wouldnt keep fighting to get it from someone who is fighting against it.
So instead of observing or judging what we perceive to wrong in another person, we need to step back and ask what they are reflecting to us. Not in an attempt to change who we are to fit better with another and not to find a way to change that person. But really dig deep and ask what is this showing us about who we are at our core and to examine where we are holding the same faults that we are perceiving in someone else. The issue you are judging in another person is an issue you are avoiding seeing in yourself. And in the same way, the amazing things you are noticing in someone else....are the same qualities you possess in yourself...you just need to look in the mirror.